I couldn't run today. I was too exhausted. Lame ass excuse? Probably. Today's been a weird one. I can't really describe what I've been feeling. It's almost like a depression. But the mood only lasts for a few moments. I think it's all over the fact of what I still can't have. I still want that feeling of security. Of someone holding me and making me feel okay. I'm not sure. I always say that. I'm just really confused right now as you can tell. I'm just not sure what anything means anymore.
There's a rumor going around school about me. I wouldn't care if it wasn't true. But it is. And I don't think I can do damage control this time.
I've been thinking about other things too. About myself. What makes me me. And I wish more people cared to know. Cared to know what's behind the immature mask of this tall pale kid that only wears v necks. Because that's definitely not me. I'm not myself. I can't be. I wish someone would care enough to find out. I'm sorry for the rambling. I can't even get my thoughts straight let alone type them into this blog. I think I'm going to go take a shower and stare at the ceiling. I fucking hate this. I really do.
Photograph via The Dream Walking Society
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