Creatures in flight. Let's be creatures of the night.

I found that damn bag that I couldn't before our trip to Michigan. It would of been the perfect size. But the world likes to work against me.

I leave very early tomorrow morning. And although I wasn't planning on writing things have been slow tonight and I thought I would get some things off my chest. Maybe not that since this will be suggestive as usual. I just thought it may help something. After a long conversation last night of me venting and occasional but helpful advice I felt much better. But today what I was dreading might happen did. I hope you don't read this. And sometimes I think maybe you found it. Maybe that's why you won't talk like you used to. I can only hope things like the way you looked at me the other night. Subtle hints that I hope are subtle hints. Is you keeping up with everything you told me. I just have to say long distance anything sucks. And when you're in my situation, and it's the only possibility. It gets hard. It's hard not being to look someone in the eyes and trying to find out what they really mean. It's hard to sit in front of a screen and talk about how you can't wait to kiss and cuddle. And in the back of your mind you know that may not happen. Am I giving up? Of course not. I'm just paranoid. And I know that's not how you work but sometimes I wish you'd be like how you used to be. Even though I know you're really the same person. I think it could happen. I still believe in you if you'll believe in me. It sounds so dumb and childish but I want this to work. I'm afraid that someone else like you would never fall for me. That I'm not worth anyone like you. And if you leave me I'll be left with nothing.

Come tuesday when I have to go back at school. I'll wake up at five. Get ready. And Fall back into the routine. Slowly forgetting about everything I learned this summer. The people I met. The people I came closer to. Slowly vanishing. Until the workload becomes to much. And I blog about how stressful everything is. So for now I'll just keep talking about me and my love story. The last two chapters of it. Falling in and out of love constantly where the only thing I can depend on is a best friend who I might not be where I am now without. I know I may forget this year. But I hope I won't. And come next summer maybe things will be different. And maybe something will turn up. I want a change. I want a relationship. And right now I'm ready for it. I hope on tuesday people notice something different. Because I have changed. I have grown. I'm ready for anything.

I apologize for the rambling. And I hope I don't come off as obsessed. I'm just falling for them.