I finally started living in the present and it became too much to bare. The past is too frustrating. I'm not hopeful enough for the future. Everything's gone to shit and all I can do is feel it. I'm trying so hard with him but I feel like it's not enough when all I'm faced with is opposition and questions of authenticity or strength. He told me I was immature not to be happy for him. I think it's immature that he's doing this to himself. But I'm lost on my own; and the irony of it all is that the ones I feel lost from are MIA preoccupied with the ones they love. I'm telling myself it's time to grow. That I didn't really have it all figured out. Realizing that this is what I could of meant by summer of new beginnings. Not the summer of falling in love but of letting everything that I loved go. Not for good but just enough that I can come into my own and create my own happiness. It's still hard. I'm just hoping that things start looking up soon. I'm standing on my own two feet. I'm reaching out to new people. Nowhere to go but up. I miss you. I miss us. All of us.